What to Tell Someone Whose Family Member Is Sick

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If someone you know is sick or ill, it tin can be hard to see him or her suffer while you lot're helpless to practise anything about it. Although at that place is probably nothing you tin can exercise virtually her condition, y'all can show your friend y'all care by doing and proverb the right things to be an encouragement during this difficult time.

1. 1

   Talk to your friend. Learn how to be a good listener and let your friend know that you are there for them if they want to vent almost their condition or if they'd rather talk about something else. Either fashion, having someone to talk to tin be a huge relief to someone who is ill.

   • Be honest with your friend if you don't know what to say. Illness often makes people uncomfortable, and that's ok. What is important is for you to be present for your friend and offer your back up. Tell your friend that you lot are at that place for her no thing what.

2. 2

   Send a card or make a phone telephone call. If yous can't be physically nowadays with your friend, ship a card or brand a phone call. It's easy to transport a text or make a Facebook post, but post and phone calls experience more personal and volition experience more thoughtful to the recipient.

   • Consider writing a thoughtful letter. This can be easier if y'all are someone who doesn't know what to say around people who are in difficult situations. You can write a letter, and and then take time to edit it and rewrite it if you feel like you haven't conveyed your feelings well. Focus on kind wishes, prayers for recovery, and good news that is unrelated to their disease.

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3. 3

   Ask questions. While its of import to respect your friend's privacy, if your friend is open up to questions they can exist a dandy style to acquire more nigh her status and to find out more than ways that you can back up her.^[ane]

   • You tin can research her illness online, but asking her questions is the simply mode to know how her condition affects her as an private, and just as importantly, how she feels about what she is experiencing.

4. 4

   Talk to her children. If your friend has kids, they are probably feeling isolated, lone, and confused. Depending on the severity of her illness, they may also be feeling scared, angry, and worried. They demand someone to talk to, and if they know and trust you, you lot can serve as a mentor and friend to them during this time.

   • Take them out for ice cream and let them talk to yous. Don't force them to say more than they seem comfy. Some children just need you there as a reassuring forcefulness in their lives, while others may desire to cascade out all their feelings to you. Be open to their lead, and follow upward with them every few days or weeks, depending on how close you are.

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1. 1

   Visit. If your loved one or close friend is sick in the hospital or confined to their habitation, the virtually important way to encourage them is by being present.^[two] Yous can help to take their heed off of their illness and to maintain a semblance of normalcy during this hard time.

   • Think about what you might exercise on your visit. If your friend likes to play card or board games, you might bring something along. If you have children, you might want to exit them at habitation, but you lot could inquire them to describe a film for your friend to help cheer her up.
   • Exist sure to call first and make sure it's a good fourth dimension, or schedule your visit in advance. Sometimes illnesses crave actress care in planning for visits to schedule them effectually appointments, timing for medications, naps and early bedtime, and other contingencies.

2. 2

   Treat her similar your friend. Someone with chronic or final illness lives with daily reminders that she is sick. What she needs is reminders that she is nevertheless the same person that you lot love and care about. Treat her the aforementioned as you would if she was not ill.^[3]

   • Maintain regular contact. A chronic illness tin can be a true test of a friendship, and for your friendship to withstand the emotional and logistical challenges of the illness you must make a point to prioritize staying in bear upon. Someone who is undergoing handling or confined to a hospital or their bed is ofttimes "out of sight, out of listen," and then be sure that you put a note on your calendar to think to attain out on a regular basis.
   • Help her practice the things that she normally enjoys. If your friend is living with chronic or terminal illness, its important that she still finds pleasure and joy in life. You can help by offering to take her out for their favorite activities.^[4]
   • Don't be afraid to joke around or make plans for the future! This is nevertheless the aforementioned person that you know and honey.

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   Support her and her family. If your friend has a family unit or even pets, this illness is probably even more stressful considering not simply does she have to worry near her own recovery or prognosis, simply she has to worry nearly those who are depending on her. There are applied ways you can aid to support her family through this time:

   • Cook for them. This is a classic, tried-and-truthful fashion to support someone who is ill. Whether or not the ill person will exist able to partake, cooking a abode-cooked meal for her family will ease her burdens by letting her balance easy knowing her children, husband, or other dependents are well taken care of.
   • Help her plan for their care. If your friend has minor children, elderly parents, or others who depend on her, ask how you can be proactive in their care during her illness. For instance, she may need someone to visit and check up on her father, someone to walk the dog, or someone who can take the kids to and from school or pick them upward from soccer practice. Sometimes planning for small logistical errands can be difficult for people suffering from illness, just having a trusted friend to help conduct the burden can make a difference.
   • Clean her house. Some people may be uncomfortable with this kind of support, so be sure to enquire your friend first; but if your friend is open to it, inquire her to let you commit to one twenty-four hour period a week (or more, or less, whatever you lot are capable of offer) that you can come up past and have care of chores. Yous can offer a specific chore that you know you are proficient at (mowing the lawn, doing the laundry, cleaning the kitchen, grocery shopping) or you can just allow her tell y'all what will be almost helpful.
   • Inquire her what she needs, and follow through. People often say "Let me know if you lot demand help," but near people are as well timid to e'er reach out and take them up on that offer. Instead of making her arrive touch with you when she needs something, call her and ask her what she needs. Tell her you lot're headed to the grocery shop and wanted to know if you tin pick something up for her, or enquire her if there is a night this week that she needs any assistance around the house. Exist specific, and be sincere in your willingness to help. So follow through and do it- that's the most important part!

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   Send flowers or a fruit handbasket. If y'all tin can't be nowadays, at least send a token of your affection so that your friend will know she is in your thoughts.

   • Keep in mind if the illness might make your friend more susceptible to strong scents (some cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy, for instance, may not similar a bouquet) and instead call up of other things that might work like their favorite chocolate, a teddy bear, or balloons.
   • Many hospitals offer a delivery service from the souvenir shop, so if your friend is an in-patient, consider purchasing a bouquet or balloon arrangement directly from in that location. Most hospitals list the phone number for their gift shops on their website, or try calling the hospital operator.
   • Consider going in with mutual friends or co-workers to buy a nicer gift or flower organization.

5. 5

   Exist yourself . You are unique, and you don't demand to pretend to be Mr. or Mrs. Fix Information technology, or Do it all or Got the answer for everything. Just be yourself.

   • Don't pretend to know the answers. Sometimes, even if you do, its all-time to let them figure some things out on their ain. Also being yourself tin involve your sense of sense of humor; it can feel like treading on eggshells being with a sick person but if y'all're nervous or acting as though yous don't know what to say you could make them feel uncomfortable so be your laughing, joking self (if that's the way you usually are).
   • Exist pleasant. You desire to be every bit supportive and every bit comforting as possible. Yous want to lift their spirits up, non bog them down with gossip or negative opinions. Even wearing cheerfully colored clothes could brighten their day!

6. six

   Make her experience needed. Sometimes asking communication or asking pocket-size favors can help someone with a chronic or terminal illness feel needed, which can give them some motivation to stay engaged.

   • In many health atmospheric condition people's brains are as sharp as they ever were and thinking about other people'due south lives and bug tin can take their minds off their own for a while.
   • Call back almost your friend'southward area of expertise, and enquire any questions you lot have that might exist relevant. For instance, if your friend is an avid gardener, and you've been meaning to put in your Spring beds, ask her communication on when to become started and what kind of mulch to use.

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1. one

   Sentry out for common faux pas. There are a lot of cliches that people use when other people are going through hard times, and more often than non these common responses only experience insincere or painful to the recipient. Examples of what not to say include:

   • "God volition never requite you more than you lot tin can handle," or its even-worse variation, "This is God's will." Sometimes well meaning people of faith say this phrase, and they may truly believe information technology, just information technology can feel very harsh to the recipient, particularly if she is experiencing something that is very hard or overwhelming. Also, the person may not believe in God.
   • "I know how you feel." Sometimes people say this phrase to others who are going through hard times, and while its true that everyone has experienced trials in life, it'southward incommunicable to know how someone else is feeling. This phrase is even worse if its accompanied by personal anecdotes that really don't match the intensity of what the sufferer is experiencing. For example, if someone is facing the loss of a limb, don't equate it to the fourth dimension that you broke your arm. It's not the same matter. However, if you have truly had an experience that is on par with the experience the sufferer is going through, it'southward ok to talk about and say "I've been through something similar."
   • Yous'll exist ok." This is a common phrase when people don't know what to say, and we frequently say information technology more as a wish than a statement of fact. In fact, you don't know if someone will be ok, and in many cases of chronic or last affliction, the person volition NOT be ok. They may die, or be condemned to a life of physical suffering. Saying they will be ok minimizes the experience they are having.
   • "At least..." Don't minimize the person's suffering by suggesting they should exist thankful that their situation isn't worse.

2. 2

   Don't complain about your own health problems. In particular, avoid discussing small health issues such equally a headache or a common cold.

   • This can vary depending on your relationship with the person and the length of their illness. If they are chronically ill, or a very close confidant, it is more likely to be appropriate to discuss things that you lot're going through.

3. 3

   Don't let fear of doing the wrong thing keep yous from doing annihilation at all. While its truthful that its important to exist sensitive to the feelings of someone who is ill, sometimes nosotros overcompensate for our fear of doing the wrong matter by doing goose egg at all. Its better to stick your foot in your rima oris and apologize than information technology is to just ignore your sick friend birthday.

   • If y'all do mess up and say something insensitive, simply say, "I don't know why I said that. I really don't know what to say. This state of affairs is just very hard." Your friend volition empathise.

4. iv

   Exist considerate. Try to pay attention to your friend's cues and so that you don't visit likewise frequently or overstay your welcome. When someone is extremely sick especially, it can be very difficult to deport on a conversation and they won't want to offend you so may over-taxation themselves past trying to please you.

   • If your friend seems distracted by television set or her phone, or seems like she is struggling to fall comatose, those might be signs that she is growing tired of the visit. Don't take it personally! Just retrieve she is dealing with lot, both physically and emotionally, and it tin can be taxing.
   • Be mindful of the time, and be sure that you don't extend your stay into mealtimes or other times that your friend may need to be solitary. Ask if your friend would like you to choice upwardly some food for them or cook them a meal if you plan to visit during mealtime.

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1. i

   Be sensitive to your friend's limitations. Educate yourself virtually their condition and treatment program then that y'all are prepared for side effects, changes to their personality, or limits on their energy or stamina.

   • Ask your friend about their condition, if they desire to share, or take time to read about information technology online.
   • Watch your friend'south body linguistic communication to sympathize how she is feeling and how her illness affects her ability to participate in activities, stay warning, and remain emotionally predictable. Be gentle and understanding if she does not deed similar her old self, and remember that she is carrying many heavy burdens.

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   Go along in mind effects on your friend's moods. Dealing with debilitating, chronic, or terminal illnesses very ofttimes results in depression and other problems, and sometimes the medications to treat illnesses likewise have side furnishings that tin can affect the mood.^[v]

   • If your friend struggles with depressive thoughts, remind her that this illness is not her mistake and that yous will exist there to support her no thing what happens.^[6]

3. 3

   Show empathy . Try to place yourself in that person'south state of affairs. I day you might have a similar illness and you'll want people to be kind and sympathetic to you. Retrieve the golden dominion: Practice unto others as you would have others to practice unto you.

   • If you were ill with a similar condition, what types of daily activities would be a struggle? How might you feel emotionally? What type of support would you promise you friends would offer?
   • Imagining yourself in their place can help y'all all-time determine how to assist them.

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Add New Question

• Question

  How do you motivate a sick person?

  

  Dr. Carolyn Rubenstein is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Florida. She specializes in working with adults on anxiety, perfectionism, and exhaustion. She is also the Primary Wellness Adviser for global esports organization Misfits Gaming Group. Dr. Rubenstein holds a BA in Psychology from Duke University, an MA in Psychology from Harvard Academy, and a PhD in Counseling Psychology from The Academy of Miami. She also has a Certification in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing through the EMDRIA (Heart Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing International Association).

  

  Licensed Clinical Psychologist

  Expert Respond

  Try to focus on the nowadays, instead of jumping forward or back in time. That's hard to do, as our minds usually focus on how things were or how they might be in the future. Remember that it'due south of import to ground yourself and focus on the environment to create a existent connectedness with the sick person.

• Question

  What tin I say instead of get well soon?

  

  Dr. Carolyn Rubenstein is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Florida. She specializes in working with adults on anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout. She is besides the Chief Wellness Adviser for global esports organization Misfits Gaming Group. Dr. Rubenstein holds a BA in Psychology from Knuckles University, an MA in Psychology from Harvard University, and a PhD in Counseling Psychology from The University of Miami. She also has a Certification in Eye Motion Desensitization and Reprocessing through the EMDRIA (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing International Association).

  

  Licensed Clinical Psychologist

  Expert Answer

  There's non really a specific phrase to exist said. To think almost what to say, effort matching the person's mentality in the present moment. If they are struggling, you should not really try to pull them into optimism, as this can experience very invalidating. Communicate with the sick individual thinking about the moment together.

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• If your friend suffers from a dangerous contagious disease, take precautions to avert spreading germs such as wearing a surgical mask and keeping a off-white distance from them. You tin also video chat or call them on the phone to stay in touch and stay connected without risking catching illness.

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Being sick or ill can be emotionally and physically draining, but you lot can support a loved one through this difficult time by showing them you care with your actions and words. Visit them regularly, whether they're in a hospital or at home, which will help them maintain some normalcy. Try to think of a fun action to practise while y'all're their, such as playing cards or going for a walk exterior. Yous could also help them do things they can't manage lonely, like shopping. When you're with your friend, tell them a fleck about your day and what you've been doing recently, since beingness ill is oft alone and they'll capeesh having someone to talk to. Even if you can't visit for some time, ship them a carte du jour or call them on the telephone, which will let your loved i know you've thinking about them. For tips on what to avert doing when you're trying to exist an encouragement to someone who is ill, read on.

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